One Year Later: What I Have Learned Through Adopting Our Son

This December marks three years since we began the international adoption process.  One year ago today, we met our son, Tyson, for the very first time. 

My thoughts about adoption have evolved in these three years. When we made the decision to start the journey, I was fired up with emotion and fervor.  EVERYONE should adopt! RAH! RAH! RAH! I would get a little frustrated with those that told me, "Oh, I could never do what you're doing."  I couldn't understand why anyone would hesitate to bring a child without a family into their home. 

And then we actually started the adoption process. 

For two years, it was as if we were on a roller-coaster ride. A really old, unstable roller coaster where the track is falling apart, the seat belts don't buckle, and the brakes have stopped working.   

It was hard; emotionally tolling on our family, our resources, and our relationships.  

Over the course of the two years it took to complete our adoption from the DRC, I learned a lot in general about adoption.  

Don't assume everyone you work with has integrity. I learned the hard way that there are not as many adoption agencies truly advocating for the best interest of the child as I had imagined.  If you are considering adoption but not sure where to start, head over here.  

The international adoption process isn't for everyone. Not every family has the emotional resources or time to invest in a child that comes from trauma and brokenness. Some parents are fighting to keep their current home situation functioning and healthy. Adding another piece to the already volatile dynamic could cause the family to implode. 

The entire family needs to be on the same page. When the process gets hard and frustrating (and it will), both the husband and wife need to be able to look at one another and know that they made the decision to commit to adoption together.  It is crucial that married couples both be invested fully in the decision to adopt.  

Adoption is an option for the orphan, but it is not the only answer.  Providing in-country hope, resources, and families for orphans who will never be able to be adopted must become a priority for American Churches.  

It is vital to have a group of people surrounding you who get it and completely understand what it means to love a child you have never met. I'm so grateful for the other families that were walking through the process at the same time. We encouraged each other, calmed one another down, and just offered any bit of support we could. We celebrated like we had won the lottery when someone received a new picture of their child. I haven't even met most of them in person, but I feel like I lived a lifetime with them. 

One year ago today, we held our son Tyson Henry Word for the very first time.  In just that one day, I learned a few things about adoption. 

Adoption is birthed from loss. It is possible to experience pure joy and deep heartache at the very same moment.  Holding our baby boy for the first time was one of the sweetest moments of my life. It was also one of the most emotional. As I cuddled Tyson and he clung to my shirt, I was reminded of how this baby had come to end up in our arms at all.  We had traveled across the world because this little one had already faced broken relationships and loss. The gravity of that knowledge laid heavy on our hearts. 

I learned what it feels like to take a child from the arms of a foster mama who loved him deeply. Actually, I purposely did not take Tyson from her arms. As a foster mom myself, I knew I couldn't. Brian held him first and I just hugged her tight. There were not enough words to share my gratitude with her. 

Spending our first few weeks together in Tyson's birth country was invaluable. Our hearts are forever connected the DRC, a country with a bruised past and a volatile present.  Though at times it struggles with instability, it is also a country of beautiful people who hope for a better future. We love our son's heritage and hope to return one day to the DRC with him. 

In the past year since bringing Tyson home, I've learned even more about adoption. 

The bonding time is critical.  Only Brian or I held Tyson for the first few months.  Those in our community were so gracious and understanding with this request.  This time was precious to us and so valuable to our family as he adjusted to his new surroundings. 

I have learned not to take my days for granted with him.  There were months of his life that I missed, so I refuse to waste a minute wishing for what comes next.  I have lost too much of his past already. 

Every single piece of paperwork, every roadblock, every single piece of red tape that was on the path to our son was worth it. Every single one.  And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. 

I've learned that through these past three years, international or domestic adoption is not for everyone. But, without question, it is for our family.  Through sharing our story, I hope that it speaks to others out there who are considering the journey. 

Adoption has turned my life upside down and wrung me inside out. It has stretched and refined my thinking, challenged my worldview, and convicted me of what is truly important in this life.  

It is the hardest and the best thing I have ever done. Adoption has changed my life for the better.   

Happy One Year Gotcha Day, Tyson Henry Word.  You have brightened our world with your infectious smile and dimples for days. We love you dearly and cannot imagine our world without you in it. 

Meet Aaliyah

She's seven.  Craves one-on-one adult attention.  Really, what little one doesn't love the adoration and affection of their family?  

Except, this is different, because this treasured little girl doesn't have a forever family to give her the attention she needs.  This sweet girl is LONGING and absolutely craving for someone to care for her.  

Could it be you? 

Meet Aaliyah. 

Aaliyah, born July 2006 is an active little girl that is full of energy. She plays well alone and prefers not to be in a large group setting. Aaliyah likes one-on-one attention from adults. She loves to watch cartoons and play with dolls. Aaliyah also loves to swim and play outside. 

Aaliyah is curious, so she likes to explore. Aaliyah must be monitored closely, as she will wander off when things catch her attention. She has no boundaries and will leave with a stranger if not monitored closely. 

Aaliyah is a very sweet young lady who loves to be praised. She responds well to a behavior chart and regular praise. She longs for a family who will provide her the support and attention she needs to grow into an adulthood.

Friends, YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE.  Families are inquiring about these Heart Gallery children because you are sharing their story!! 

I ask that you would please share Aaliyah's story.  Let's help this little one find a forever family so the draw of just anyone's attention is no longer needed. Pray for her to be connected with a family that will love, nurture, and care for her in ways that she will never have to question where she belongs or whether she is wanted. 

To learn more about Aaliyah, please head to her Heart Gallery page. 

Pray.  Advocate.  Share.  

Meet Austin

I'm honored to introduce you to Austin, the Alabama Heart Gallery child of the week.  He is a sweet boy who is described as polite, affectionate, and loving.  

Austin was born in September, 2002 and attends elementary school. Austin's favorite subjects are science and social studies. Science is his favorite because he enjoys learning about nature. Austin is very funny and likes to joke around. Austin is also very polite and sweet. He likes to play video games and ride his bike. He also enjoys sports and drawing. Austin enjoys drawing for others. 

Austin is a loving child and likes affection. Austin has played football in the past and enjoyed that very much. Austin is very loyal to those he loves and will stand up for them to the end.

Austin has been described as someone who, "is very loyal to those he loves and will stand up for them to the end." 

Praying for a family who will step up and STAND UP for Austin.  

To watch Austin's interview and to learn more about him, head over here.  

Please share Austin's story.  

Meet Jasmine

I apologize it's been silent around here lately! But, I'm back and I have a beautiful, young lady you need to meet. 

 Let me introduce you to Jasmine.

"I wish to be adopted.  I wish to have a family." 

Jasmine, born July 1998 is a sweet young girl who loves to be around others. She is caring, outgoing and makes friends easily. She is into fashion and would like to be a designer when she grows up. She likes to go shopping and pick out clothes that show her personality. 

Her favorite food is pasta. Jasmine has a strong desire to be adopted. She describes her ideal family as a mom and dad who are nice and loving. She would like to have siblings. Jasmine desires to have a forever family who will not give up on her.

Friends, let's share Jasmine's story.  She's a teenage girl who knows what she wants in life. One of those things, though, is a desire that many children already have been given.... a forever FAMILY.  

Please pray, share, and advocate for Jasmine.  To learn more about her story, please head over to her Heart Gallery page. 

Meet Acacia

I've written about the Reality of Aging Out of the foster care system in a previous post.  For children without a permanent family, the statistics associated with life after foster care are grim. There are not adequate resources in place to help successfully equip the thousands of teens who end up on their own each year.  

Everyone needs an ally in their life. Someone to lean on, cry with, and to help them dream as they head into adulthood.  

This week, the Heart Gallery of Alabama child is Acacia.  She's beautiful, intelligent, and hoping for a forever family and a teenage girl.  She's facing some tough odds simply because of her age. 

But I believe she is the perfect fit for a family.  Just ONE family.  That's all it will take to provide her with security and a place to call home. 

Meet Acacia. . .

Acacia, born January 1998 is an outgoing and personable young lady. She enjoys attention she receives from others and takes pride in her appearance. She enjoys making new friends and adjusts to new situations easily. Acacia is very artistic and enjoys working on arts and crafts projects. She has very good verbal skills and has the ability to do well in school when not distracted by others. 

Acacia requires close supervision and needs to learn appropriate boundaries with males. She will need to be monitored closely, as with any teen, with electronics. 

Acacia is the oldest child in a sibling group of 6 children. While she has met all of her siblings, she does not maintain regular contact with them. Three siblings have been adopted and two are with relatives.


If you are interested in learning more about Acacia please head over to her page on The Heart Gallery of Alabama.

If you would like more information on available waiting children in the state of Alabama, please head over here. 

Friends, let's advocate, pray, and share Acacia's story to help her find a forever family. 

Meet Devontae

I'm honored to be able to share another precious child with you this week.  Each week, I'm posting about a child or sibling group that is currently waiting for a forever family. 

You can see the past two highlighted Heart Gallery of Alabama children here and here. 

I have LOVED, LOVED, LOVED seeing all the shares of these sweet faces on social media.  By just a click of a button, you are potentially connecting a child with a family!  It doesn't matter where you live in the US, these children are not limited just to being adopted by Alabama families.

Meet Devontae . . .

Devontae, born in August 2000 is a handsome young man. He loves sports especially basketball. Devontae has played baseball in the past and excelled at the sport. He receives support services at school. Despite a learning disability he excels every year. 

Devontae is a bright young boy who needs someone to provide him a forever family. He enjoys going on outings and playing at the park. He likes to laugh, have fun, play with cars and color. Devontae struggles some socially but is maturing with age.He would benefit from a family that has time to give him the one-on-one attention that he so deserves.

That SMILE! Those EYES! Oh, my heart.  

If you would like to see Devontae's video and learn more about him please head over here to his page on Alabama's Heart Gallery.  

For more information on other waiting children, please click here. 

Honored to be advocating for the children with you, my blog friends!  It's time to share Devontae's story!  

Meet Cody and Joey

Y'all are awesome. Plain and simple. 

Last week I partnered up with my bloggy friend Catie over at This High Calling, and posted about a set of brothers looking for a forever family.  In case you missed it, please read about this Waiting Children initiative here. 

Friends, you shared that post and shared it and shared it. Oh, and then you shared it some more. There were over a thousand pageviews of that specific post.  

LOVE IT.  

It's time to do it again this week! 

{Remember-  these are children from Alabama, but families from ANY state can adopt them! That's why ANYONE can share this, no matter where you live!}

Meet Cody and Joey. . .

Cody, born November 1996, is an outgoing young man who is very friendly. Cody loves to play basketball. He received special education services at school. He does not like school, but did well when in a structured environment. Cody is very helpful. He loves electronics, and listening to rap music. 

Joey, born December 1999, is an avid Crimson Tide fan. He loves to rap, draw and play sports. He considers himself a good friend. Joey receives special services at school and does better with individualized attention. He needs a home with structure and consistency. Joey's favorite class at school is his vocational class. He loves to build things. 

Cody & Joey have a supportive relationship and they long to be together in a family of their own. They come from a sibling group of 5 and they are the last two in foster care.


Please head over to Heart Gallery Alabama to see more pictures and a video of these two amazing brothers here.  

If you are interested in learning more about this organization or  other waiting children in Alabama, please click here.  

Meet Dustin, Daniel, and Ricky {A New Weekly Series}

In every state across the US, there are currently children in foster care who are waiting for a forever family.  Their parents rights have been terminated and they are now free to be loved and welcomed into a family through adoption.  

As of April 2013, there were 5,013 children in the foster care system of Alabama.  Five hundred of those children sit waiting, currently ready to be adopted.  

And here is the thing: waiting children don't have to be adopted just by Alabama families, anyone across the country could become their parent.  

Heart Gallery Alabama strives to help find a permanent, loving family for every child in Alabama's foster care system who is in need of a home. 

Their heartbeat is the mantra, "There are no unwanted children. Only unfound families."

I very much agree.  

I was so excited to see my blog friend Catie, over at This High Calling, announce that every Monday she would be posting about a child available for adoption in the state of Alabama. 

I'm on board too. 

I've got big dreams for what could happen.  Each week Catie will share a beautiful face and and their story.  Then I'll share it.  My hope is then that YOU will share it. And if you share it, maybe your facebook friends will share it, and then their (cousin/friend from high school/tennis partner/co-worker, will open up the link. . .

And maybe, JUST maybe, one of those people will see the face of the child they have been praying for . . .

It only takes ONE family to provide a forever home to a child.  

Let's find that family. 

Let me introduce you to these three handsome brothers. . . 

Meet Dustin, Daniel, and Ricky

Dustin, born February1999, enjoys watching TV, playing video games and reading. He likes the Harry Potter Books. He is creative. He prefers the indoors and enjoys playing alone. Dustin's grades are average and he maintains passing grades. He does wear glasses to help him see the black board in the classroom. 

Daniel and Ricky were born in February 2003. Daniel has an IEP in place for speech therapy to assist with a speech impediment. His grades have been good. He likes to play outside and swim. Daniel enjoys watching TV, playing video games, and playing with others. He is very energetic. He is also creative and likes to draw. 

Ricky likes to play outside and go swimming. He also likes to go fishing. Ricky enjoys watching TV, playing video games, and playing with others. He is very energetic and is creative. He makes friends easily. 

These brothers need a family that can attend to their therapeutic needs and keep them together. They need to be placed together for adoption with a family that has no other children in the home.

If you'd more information about these boys and other available children, please head over to the Heart Gallery of Alabama.

Blog friends, let's advocate for and pray these children into a forever home.  Let us be a voice for the voiceless. 

Excited to partner together with you!