Saturday, February 18, 2012

I'm learning how to prepare...

for having small children living among us.  How, you ask?  By watching my dogs. 

-If you have small children and no dogs-  This post by no means intends to claim that hairy, four-legged, drooling animals that sniff and lick weird places are to be compared as equals to your children.  Kids are a gift from God and smell much better when they are wet.  

-If you have dogs and no kids- This post by no means intend to claim that two-legged small humans who drool and pick their noses and sometimes ingest what they find are to be compared as equals to your dogs.  Dogs are a gift from heaven and we know thats where all of them go when they die.  

-If you have small children and dogs- You smell what I'm stepping in. 

1.  We have no less than five bones/toys in our house for two dogs.  At any given time only one of them is being played with and that's because each dog wants what the other one has. The bone of choice is either being wrestled with between the two dogs or one of the dogs forlornly watches the other enjoy it.  Bandit enjoys crying and whining about it while watching Knox lick his prize.  Lucky for Bandit, Knox gets easily distracted and often walks away from the bone.  Bandit then enjoys it for a minute until he realizes that Knox doesn't want it.  In which case, he goes and attempts to start wrestling with Knox because bugging the stink out him is what Bandit loves to do.   Sound familiar? 

2.  I have to watch everything they are putting in their mouths.  At this point, Bandit has been known to injest wood (from our windowsill and coffee table), bath towels, sticks, his feces (sorry. Don't ever let him lick your face.), dirt, and bugs.  As I've mentioned before, Knox enjoys plastic (remote controls especially), Bibles, pens, and stuffed animals.  It's not so much of choking hazards as what I have to deal with coming out the other side.  

3.  They love each other and they drive each other crazy.  Knox forgets he weighs 90 pounds sometimes and while wrestling Bandit, often flips him over like a pancake.  On numerous occasions, Bandits ends up limping away.  Sweet big brother Knox always trots over and gives him an "I'm sorry" lick and all is forgiven.   Bandit, being the younger brother, doesn't always know when to quit it with the wrestling.  A strong snarl from Knox usually puts him in his place. 

4. Siblings look out for each other.  Just yesterday, Bandit had a really rough day.  He effectively gnawed off a good few inches from our windowsill earlier in the day while I was out and then ripped apart Knox's bed while I was in the other room feeding the baby that night.  I was not pleased.   While I yelled at Bandit for destroying my front window, Knox nervously paced between us.  Bandit, meanwhile, barked at me, to let me know my words didn't hurt him.  Knox silently pleaded with Bandit to shut his piehole and look sorry.  Later in the night, when I walked into our bedroom to be welcomed by green foam bedding spread everywhere, Knox came to the rescue again.  As I got down to really lay into Bandit, Knox edged his way in between us and gave me his best puppy dog eyes.  Sweet, sweet big brother.  

They can drive you bonkers and make you want to scream one minute and then curl up next to you and give you sweet kisses the next.  At least you can always put them outside.  

I'm talking about the dogs, people.  Not the children.  


  1. I love this post! I definitely see your point!

  2. This sounds like our house!!! Hilarious! I can totally relate! Our youngest pup is known for chewing our blinds and truly believing her plush bed is a chew toy!

  3. Hysterical--and SO true!