I'm pretty sure it's because I refrained from showing emotion until my mid-20s. Apparently I thought crying wasn't cool. And being cool was my goal. Obviously.
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| Not everyone can rock a 3X denim jacket and FAUX denim skirt. Or front teeth that a straw could comfortably fit through. |
My mom probably prayed for years that I wasn't heartless and did, in fact, have feelings. Which, of course, I did, I was just bottling up in order to maintain my extreme level of coolness. Cool people didn't cry.
Well, I got to my mid-twenties and my tear ducts got tired of holding back the years of pent-up emotion. So I became a crier. About lots of random things.
Like....The Biggest Loser. If they've got a story about weight gain and heartache, I'm boo-hooing with them about emotionally eating. Ask Brian, this is a weekly occurrence.
Military families reuniting? Forget it. I'm a basket-case. Especially surprise reunions.
One Shining Moment after the NCAA bball final four? I'm a little weepy. Slam dunks are awesome.
The book Same Kind of Different as Me? I was sniffling, snotty-nose crying through most of it. Brian asked what the book was about and I couldn't tell him. Only because I was trying to not burst into tears again.
It's embarrassing, really. Brian sometimes looks at me in bewilderment wondering exactly WHY I'm crying.
So you can only imagine how I've been with this whole adoption business. Waterworks frequently. It doesn't take much and I'm a blubbering fool. But it's a good cry. Because I can't wait to meet our baby. And I am so excited for our friends who are waiting to meet their babies too. And I'm emotional because God is doing some amazing things in the hearts of those around us about adoption as well. I cry because I'm blessed.
So....I'm over being cool. The fact that at one point I was going back to school to be a Librarian ended that dream years ago anyway.
You are awesome. Love you, Cuz.
ReplyDeleteMB
I love this post, Leslie!!! I can totally relate, as being the youngest with 3 older brothers made me think that crying was a terrible thing. . .but now. . .sheesh, it's ridiculous- I cry at pretty much everything. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteLeesa
Well...I think I was always a crier (dad called me faucet face cause I could turn it on and off on a dime) but recently for the same "dumb" things you cry at!! I also cry at adoption stories so keep it up Les.....:-)
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate..such a crier myself..all my friends think its funny and now they just hand me the box of kleenex or napkins whenever they think I will need them. It makes my soul feel good to cry but it is exhausting sometimes. Just found your blog and want to wish you God's blessings on your new family! I have a great friend that adopted two boys here in Texas and to be a part of that was amazing! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteSorry that last comment i was logged in under my husbands name..my blog is athriftedmarket.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteYou were almost a Librarian. That is just one of my favorite things about you Jersey. That and you tender heart. Loves.
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog through the usual channels of clicking and clicking as you read about people's stories. My husband and I started the process of adopting from Korea a couple months ago and I can so relate to the way it has ratcheted up my crying threshold. After a couple decades of keeping back emotions, my marriage and its safety had already turned me into quite the emotional girl. I tell people I'm a contact crier. If you cry, I cry. But now I find myself tearing up and ready to sob at a moment's notice for NO REASON whatsoever. Just so many emotions that express themselves best in tears. But I actually am a part-time Librarian, so a lot of the time I don't even have to try to be cool ;)
ReplyDeleteI am not surprised at what you shared. You are one special person created for God's glory.From our vantage point you are doing just fine You are the real McCoy!
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