The North and the South. Part 2.

We currently live in the deep, deeeeeeeeeeep south, a stark contrast from the where I spent the first 21 years of my life.

New Jersey.

Arguably, the most stereotyped state in the nation.

No, the area surrounding the Newark Airport is not what the rest of the state looks like. 

Yes, we have the Jersey Shore.  Named for it's sandy beaches and boardwalks looooooonnnnnggggg before the tv show. 

No, Snooki was not born in or ever a permanent resident of the state. 

Yes, some members of the state frequent the tanning bed a little too much.  

No, every person in the state does not live directly off an exit of I-95. 

Yes, these are frequently asked questions when people find out I'm from NJ. 

But to be fair, before I moved South, I pictured the majority of Southerners to look like this:

Because, let's be honest....this is seemingly the guy that always gets interviewed on the nightly news. 

Since I have spent a good amount of time living on both sides of the Mason-Dixon line, I feel I have a right to make fun of both.

A year ago, I wrote my first post about the cultural differences in the North and South check it out here. 

The North and the South: Part 2  

Common phrases:
North: 
1. "Yous" 
Pronounced "Youzzzz." Commonly heard in the Philadelphia and South Jersey area.  Not taught in school, but somehow learned by many.

Example:  "What can I get yous to drink?" 

Dear NJ,  
This is why people make fun of our state.                                                  Love, Me.  

   
2. "Not for Nothing" 
Commonly heard in North Jersey and New York State.  Usually precedes a statement in which the person is expressing annoyance or anger. 

Example: "Not for nothing, but I told him that if he didn't call me back, we were breaking up and he was dead to me." 

Not for nothing, my northern friends, but I'm pretty sure this phrase has zero meaning.

South: 
1. "Y'all" 
You + All = Y'all.  Still grammatically incorrect, but sounds a whole lot better than Yous.   

Dear Southern States, 
We may have won the war, but yous win this battle. 
                                             Love,
                                             The North.


2. "Bless her/his/their heart."  
Frequently used.  99% of the time by Southern women. Can be  authentically spoken to express concern.  

Example: "That sweet baby is sick again.  Bless his heart."

More often used as a get out of jail free card when saying something ugly.  

Example: "Have you seen the Smith's new baby girl? Bless her heart, it looks like she's got her no-good daddy's face."  


Christmas Morning:
I just recently stumbled upon this information and had to share it, because really, I'm heartbroken for Southern children...  it appears that Santa does not plan ahead on ordering enough wrapping paper each year. Right at about the Mason-Dixon line, he runs out. 

North:  Gifts from Santa are wrapped and waiting under the tree for each child. 

South:  Gifts from Santa are UNwrapped and displayed by the tree.  

What????????

I guess that means kids in the South never play the, "let me shake the box to try and figure out what's inside game." 

Bless their hearts. 


Delicacies:  
And by "delicacies," I mean food that is extremely questionable and I will not eat unless I am a contestant on the Amazing Race. 

North:  Scrapple.  Consists of numerous parts of a pig, basically whatever is left over after the good parts are used.  Grayish in color, usually found in a shape of a rectangle.  Fried and eaten for breakfast.

South:  Congealed Jello Mold.
Jello is the key ingredient. Then it's fair game for whatever else you want to throw in.  Carrot slices, melons, berries, pretzels.  Just empty out the fridge, mix it up, mold it into a pretty wreath, circle, or square... and Voila!  Can be found at any baby shower, holiday meal, or your grandmother's house in Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, or Georgia.

 

Driving:
North:  When cut off in traffic, people aren't driving fast enough, or you're having a bad day, honking is expected.  Throwing up a middle finger is optional, but often used. Driving as fast as possible is encouraged. Tailgating is acceptable. Must know how to navigate through a traffic circle. 

South:  Honking is only used when saying hello to your neighbor.  When cutting off someone in traffic, waving and mouthing, "I'm sorry," is acceptable.  Tailgating is only for football games.  Navigating through four-way stop signs is apparently not taught in drivers education. 



Weather:  
North: Growing up in NJ, it usually took 2-3 feet of snow to get a day off from school.   

South: While teaching elementary school in GA, it took the chance of 2-3 inches of snow to cancel school.  

And here's what it took to get school canceled in Montgomery, AL back in January, 2011. 

You many have a hard time seeing the icicles hanging from the roof.  A really big ice storm hit.  School for that Monday was actually canceled on SATURDAY!  

The third-grader in me still gets really bitter about this. 



That's all for this round of The North and The South.  

Have anything else to add?