Saturday, August 13, 2011

Plan A

I've been marinating on this post for a while.  Knowing it could ruffle some feathers. 

Adoption is not Plan B.  

Not for us.  Not for any family. 

We have never looked at it this way, but in conversations with quite a few well-intentioned folks, I realize that the general population often views it that way. 

"You know you'll get pregnant as soon as you finish your adoption." 

"I know a lot of people "your age" who are looking toward adoption because they can't get pregnant." 

"Do you want to have your own children?" 

I've learned that adoption is often viewed by many (on the outside looking in) as the consolation prize.  

Plan A didn't work.  So you're settling for what is available.  

I disagree and so would all the other adoptive parents I've ever met.  

There is no Plan B. 

The journey to adoption is NOT a surprise to God.  He's wasn't caught off guard by the reasons or the path. 

For some it's infertility or health reasons. 

For others it is how God calls them to add to their family.

For us, it's because God is made it ABUNDANTLY clear that we are to adopt.  Now.  

Many people assume because we are adopting first that biological children are not an option for us.  At this point, we have not heard otherwise, so we hope to welcome a freckled, type-A, northern/southern hybrid into our lives one day.  

But whatever happens, it will be Plan A. 

We are adopting now because there is a need and we have a call.  In the DRC alone, there are five million orphaned children.  

We could not get that figure out of our minds and hearts.  There was no reason good enough to hold off on adopting until we had biological children.  We couldn't stop talking about adoption.  We needed to start the process. 

We know it doesn't make sense to most of the world. 

God made it clear, so we're just following. 

Any child brought into our home, biological or adopted, will be real and be our own.  We pray that others will come to understand that as well, but we also know that we have the privilege of telling the story of redemption and grace each time someone questions our family dynamic. 

The story of Plan A for our family. 


  1. Adoption is Plan A for me too in a few years time. :)

  2. Thank you! I have heard the comment "You will get pregnant as soon as you adopt" more times than I care for! Thank you!

  3. Great post -- I did a post back in mid July called "We're Adopting!" where I gave suggestions for how people may want to respond when someone says they are adopting. That post might really resonate for you!

  4. I just ran across your blog through the Lettered Cottage. I am so glad i found it. I am from prattville and live in dothan now. I am encouraged by you and love this post.

  5. Couldn't agree more.

  6. Thanks for putting this in writing. Amen!

  7. Read this post on We are Grafted In. Well said! I look forward to hearing how your journey goes as we are also adopting from the DRC.

  8. Hi Leslie! I can't remember when I came across your blog, but it was at some point over the last six months as my husband and I began researching adoption. We are currently about a month into a domestic infant adoption, through the state of Pennsylvania. I absolutely LOVE this post about Plan A! My husband and I have no reason to believe we are infertile, but everyone else certainly likes to assume we are :) I can't even tell you how many times I've heard the above comments!

    Thank you for clearly communicating this on your blog. We also have seen how God has made this abundantly clear in our own lives...that adoption is what we need to be pursuing right now, for our first child. I truly praise the Lord for you and your husband, and the beautiful testimony you are giving on your blog. I pray He gets all the glory!