Gregoire Family- China Adoption

Happy November! This month, I'm honored to highlight a family who is in the processing of adopting a little boy from China's Special Needs program. Kirsten and Charles Gregoire are getting set to travel to meet their son and bring him home in hopefully a few short weeks.  I've asked Kirsten to share a little of their journey to adopt a child with special needs. 

1. Tell us a little about your family and what led your family to adopt. 

Charles and I have been married {almost!} 15 years. We have four beautiful children biologically, ages 12, 10, 7, and 5. Five years ago while I was still pregnant with our fourth child, my heart was really turned towards adoption. I knew The Lord had placed this desire in me, but also knew my husband might think me crazy - haha. We had talked adoption early on in our marriage, and it had always remained a possibility for "someday."  I told God that if this was in fact the journey he had for us, that he would need to work on my husband's heart - I wasn't gonna say a word! That very night Charles came home and said that I would never guess what he had been thinking about lately. Thus, our road to adoption began!  

2. Can you share a little about your process? What specifically made you choose the China Special Needs Program?

After much prayer and about a year later, we officially entered the Ethiopia program with All God's Children International. We had many ups and downs throughout the process.  Financially, we could not afford adoption, yet The Lord was so clear, and so we forged ahead. He provided exactly what we needed every time, and we couldn't help but to see His hand so clearly in every detail. 

Since we began our adoption process, Charles lost his job and found a new one, we updated our home study three times, and were fingerprinted more times than I cared to count. And still....no referral. Last November 2014, I was at my end. I couldn't possibly imagine updating anything even one more time. I begged The Lord to move and give us direction. 

It was about a week later that an email came through from our agency for a waiting child in China. We had entertained the idea previously about switching to a different country, but were afraid of the additional costs we'd incur. As we prayed over this little boy's file though, we again sensed The Lord's hand guiding us. We decided to make the switch. We would go where the need was. The problem was, we didn't technically qualify for a Chinese adoption due to income. We prayed (hard!!) and were granted an exception. Ahhh!!! And just as before, the things I had worried about...the red tape, the finances....they all fell into place. The Lord provided just what we needed at the exact time we needed it. A year later, we are getting ready to (hopefully) travel by this Christmas. It has been a long journey, but we trust that God's timing is perfect. 

3. How have you prepared for bringing home a child with Celebral Palsy? Have resources been readily accessible? Has it been easy to work through insurance issues once he has joined your family? 

Truth be told, we didn't know much, if anything, about Cerebral Palsy when we first read that in his file. We had to google it! We took several days to really pray and ask The Lord to give us wisdom. 

During this time, a friend that I hadn't spoken to in awhile called me out of the blue. She had previously adopted twice and was curious how our adoption was going. As we talked, she shared that both of her children also had CP. I had no idea!  It really solidified that The Lord saw us right where we were and was moving us in this direction. 

In the meantime, we spoke with a couple US doctors ~ one from CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) and a neurologist who had visited the orphanage several times and was familiar with our boy. Both went over his file with us and explained his diagnosis. We were scared of the unknown, but with each conversation, grew more and more firm in our conviction that he was our son. 

Since then, we have received a grant through The Sparrow Fund so that we can receive services from CHOP when he first comes home. We feel blessed to do life within a community of like-minded families who have also adopted many special needs children into their families, including CP. There seems to be a wealth of support around us, which we treasure!!

4. What would advice would you give a family that is considering international adoption? And more specifically, a special needs child? 

Adoption is hard, whether it be international, domestic, or through foster care. It is definitely not as glamorous and easy as it can be portrayed. That being said, it has been the most fantastic journey of our lives, thus far. The things we have learned and have seen have grown us in ways we never would have imagined. 

I believe with all my heart that adoption should not be considered lightly, however, if The Lord has placed it on your heart, He will be faithful to walk with you through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. It is a journey like no other. I think the same goes for a special needs child. Though we don't have first hand experience, I would imagine the same advice would apply.  I am sure, it will be hard, harder at times than we had ever thought. But I also believe, that it will be worth it...that the Lord's strength will be made perfect in our weakness.  

For the month of November, 20% of all of my R+F orders from new and returning customers will go toward the Gregoire family's adoption fund.  If you are interested in learning more, please comment below or email me at leslieharris77(at)gmail(dot)com. 

To follow more of their story, check out their blog at www.thegregoires.blogspot.com.

Whatever the Cost - The Chubb Family Adoption Story

Social media does a tremendous job of celebrating families who have adopted.  The coming home photos, videos of the first moments together, and new family pictures can portray beautiful picture of redemption and love. But, they often only tell one part of the story. 

The international adoption process rarely goes according to plan. Timelines shift and change, finances are stretched, and countries change their policies and laws. It's not always pretty, but it's a reality. 

For families who are adopting from the Democratic Republic of Congo, this is all too familiar to them.  There are hundreds of children who have been legally adopted, yet have been stuck in an orphanage or foster home waiting to be allowed to leave the country and be united with their family. 

I've asked Jessica Chubb to share her family's story of the DRC adoption process. It's honest and raw and in the middle of a lot of unknowns.  They have been waiting for two years to bring their legally adopted son home.

Month after month, for the past two years, they have paid foster care fees for their son, advocated for his release, and prayed that one day he would be in their arms.  

Here is their story.  It's isn't wrapped up neatly in a bow, but it's a story of a family who won't stop fighting. 

1. What led your family to adopt? What specifically made you choose the DRC?

Since I was a teenager I felt a strong desire to adopt. My heart felt very broken by the idea that any child may grow up without a loving family. When my husband and I dated and eventually were engaged we discussed the idea and felt like it was something we would eventually do.

We began our family the traditional way (belly babies) and we were blessed with two girls within 4 years of being married. When our youngest daughter was a baby I had a dream that felt so real. In my dream, I was looking at an image that was like a sonogram. In the image, I saw a baby boy and I knew that baby was my son. In my dream, however, I did not get the sense that the belly he was growing in was my own. It seemed as though there was my son, growing in the womb of another woman. It felt so real and so intense.

Around the same time some friends of ours began the process of adopting two boys from Rwanda. I felt so intrigued by their story and followed them closely. My heart rejoiced when I saw their two children finally join their family. I began to read everything I could about adoption and follow many bloggers. My heart was so intensely broken by the stories many families would share of their children's lives before adoption.  One story in particular that haunted me was a mom saying they visited an orphanage where their child lived and she was devastated by the rows and rows of babies lying in cribs completely silent. I had two babies. I knew that babies were not supposed to do that all the time. That image would not leave me.  

I began to talk with my husband and ask if he would pray about beginning the adoption process. My husband jokingly told me, "I am not going to ask God if he wants us to adopt an orphan because he is going to say yes." It was at that point we began to pray and ask God what we should do. We felt at peace about adopting but we had no idea where to begin. We began to ask friends and family to pray for us to have clarity and direction from God. We emailed and called agencies and talked with a lot of families who had already gone through the adoption process.

We felt very drawn to Africa.  The mortality rate under the age of five was enough to break my heart. Some statistics say 1 out every 11 children under the age of five die in Sub-Saharan Africa every year. We initially began the process of adopting a little boy from Ethiopia in 2010. Just before we were completely ready to be matched with a child the Ethiopian government announced a shutdown that completely stalled international adoptions for that country. We remained in the Ethiopia program for two years before deciding to make the switch to DRC. We had been praying about whether or not to move to another program when you, Leslie, announced that you had just accepted a referral for a sweet little baby boy from DRC. I asked you a bunch of questions about your agency and the DRC. We prayed about it and finally decided to make the switch over to DRC in November of 2012. 

2. What has the process been like? How long have you been in process? 

We were paperwork ready in January of 2013. Shortly after we completed our dossier we received a phone call from our agency asking us if we would consider a little boy. We were told he was very young and possibly premature. He was sick, (most likely with malaria). We did not have a lot of information about him but immediately we felt as though we had to say yes. He was a child who needed a family, in our minds it did not matter if he was ill or not. He needed someone to fight for him and we were willing to be that family. We shared with some close family and friends and began to intercede for this little man. We begged God to heal him and make him well. February 13th we received a phone call that he was very ill and was expected to die. We were told that our agency would not allow us to go forward with adopting him any longer.

Our hearts were broken. I struggled to know how to go forward. We had believed God would heal him. We had hoped for a happy ending. We were asked at the same time to consider going forward with adopting another little child. His name was Eloinga and we struggled to know what to do. I did not want to give up on the first child, but we were not given a choice. We prayed for wisdom. We begged God to do a miracle and make him well anyway. Our hope was that we would be allowed to bring home two boys instead of one. We moved forward with the paperwork to begin the adoption of Eloinga.

The first photograph we saw of him, we fell in love. He was the sweetest baby boy dressed all in pink. We still prayed that God would do a miracle on behalf of the first child but we knew that if Eloinga needed a family we would be willing to give him one. In July 2013, we officially completed our adoption of Eloinga. He was now officially our son and we would name him Nehemiah.

We also found out, sadly, that the first child we had pursued died from his illness. I was broken hearted. I felt as though God gave me an image of that little boy. He was carried to the throne of God by the prayers of people who loved him. While I never was able to physically hold him, I know that God entrusted us with him because he needed people to intercede for him. He needed someone to love him. And even though it was not the way I wanted we provided him with what he needed for a short time.

Meanwhile, we moved ahead with all the paperwork for Nehemiah to come home. We were hopeful that he would be in our home by Christmas. August 2013 we sent out the last of our immigration paperwork and prepared to wait for our government to grant Nehemiah a visa to come home. One month later, in September 2013, I woke up to the news that the DRC government had just announced that they were stopping the exit of all adopted children from DRC. 

3. What is happening with DRC adoptions? Why are these children stuck? 

When the announcement was made in September of 2013 that they were going to cease to issue exit letters for adoptive children, I felt like I literally had the wind knocked out of me. We were so close to having Nehemiah home and now we were told they were not going to issue exit letters for at least another year.

That announcement was made almost 2 years ago.

And today, hundreds of children are still stuck. I have heard a lot of rumors that the DRC government did this because they were angry over some agencies who had broken their laws. I have also heard that they were afraid that adoptive families were being abusive to children once they are home. There have been a lot of rumors and many attempts by families to show DRC that these children are being well cared for and loved. In the end these children are still stuck.

In March of 2015, DRC officials said they would begin releasing the children. Five months later and hundreds are still stuck. We have been told there will be a resolution "soon,” over and over.  I am not sure when the children will ever be officially allowed to join their adoptive families.

In the meantime, several children have died from treatable illnesses.  Many families are struggling to make ends meet, as they are stuck paying foster care fees for their adoptive children for years longer than expected.  Children are growing up without families that have families waiting for them, and hundreds of families are walking out the heartbreak of spending another birthday, family vacation or Christmas without their child. 

4. What would advice would you give a family that is considering international adoption? 

I feel like we are the poster child for what could go wrong in adoption. So, I am not sure I should give anyone advice.

I have learned a lot, however, in our five years of being in process. The most important is that I know we could not have walked this road without our faith in Christ leading us. There were so many times I wanted to throw in the towel and be done. But I felt very strongly that God was leading us to this. There were times where just doing the next thing felt like an act of obedience. I would say if God is calling you to adoption that you should obey Him.

I don't know that we will ever have a happy ending to our story. We hope that one day, this child we have loved and watched grow up in photographs will be able to sleep in the bed we have made for him. But I just don't know if that will happen. I do think, however, that we have done what God called us to. And I believe that God is working out this situation for good. I truly believe adoption is a beautiful thing. I hope one day we get to see that full circle in our own lives. I think that hope is worth all the money, effort, time and heartbreak we have invested in the last 5 years.

Nehemiah is worth whatever it may cost us. He is worth fighting for. 

This month, I will be donating 20% of my Rodan + Fields profits to the Chubb family to help with foster care expenses.  If you'd like more information about what R+F can do for your skin, please contact me by commenting below with your email or email me at leslieharris77(at)gmail.com.

The James Family - Domestic Adoption

If you are considering domestic adoption, where to start can be a little overwhelming.  There is a plethora of information available and it's easy to get bogged down with information overload.

There has been a seismic shift in domestic adoptions over the past few decades.  Families having to wait years before being matched with a child are no longer the norm. What used to be a process in which very little information was disclosed between the biological and adoptive family is now often an open pipeline of communication through photos, phone calls, and time spent together.

In the U.S. more than 135,000 adoptions occur annually, with 13,000 to 14,000 being infants who are voluntarily relinquished domestically. About half of all infant domestic adoptions are done through an independent practioner, who facilitates birth parents' placing their children directly with potential adoptive parents. Another option is to go through an adoption consulting firm, which is a referral service, networking clients with licensed agencies and attorneys across the United States. Working directly with a licensed adoption agency is yet another option.

Domestic adoption fees can range anywhere from $15,000 to $50,000, with most adoptions averaging between $20,000 and $30,000 to complete.

The vast majority of adoption agencies and private practioners offer "open adoptions," in which identifying information about both adoptive and biological families is shared either directly or mediated through the agency.

Though numbers and stats are great, I think it's crucial for families considering adoption to hear from those in the process as well. Every family's experience is different, but I believe that connecting with other's stories and experiences can always provide fresh perspective and insight.

This month, I'm supporting the James family's domestic adoption with 20% of the profits from Rodan + Fields business. They are homestudy ready and currently fundraising in order to have their profile go active and be available for birthparents to consider.  I asked Kara-Kae James, founder of Thrive Moms and blogger over at The Mom Diggity, to share a little about their adoption process.

1. Tell us a little bit about your family:  We are a family of five with three girls ages 5, 3, and 2. Brook, my husband, works as the Creative Arts Pastor at a church in TX and I'm the co-founder and Executive Director of a ministry called Thrive Moms. We have always had a heart for orphans and for expanding our family through adoption. 

2. What led you to the path of domestic adoption?  We had originally planned to adopt internationally and God shifted our hearts and opened our eyes to the needs right here in our country. 

3. What advice would you give to families just starting the process?  Our advice would be to pray and wait for God's perfect timing. We waited 5 years before getting the "yes" from God and we know that He has already hand picked our child for us! Pray big prayers and be bold in the journey! 

4. How can people pray for you family during this journey?  People can pray that the remaining funds come in quickly and that our matching process goes smoothly! 

5. For those reading this that aren't called to adopt, but want to come alongside families who are adopting, what are some ways they can help?  We believe that everyone is called to do something, whether that would be to adopt or or help a family that is adopting. If you can't donate, you can pray and ask a family how you can help with fundraising! There's always some way to help! Encouraging an adoptive family is so incredible, because it's such a difficult and tiring journey. 

Interested in learning more about domestic adoption? Want to learn more about what Rodan + Fields products are the right fit for you? 

Shoot me an email at leslieharris77(at)gmail(dot)com.  Let's talk! 

The Story Changers

Hey friends! 

At the beginning of each month, I'm going to introduce you to a very special family or organization. I want you to hear their story and their heart for vulnerable and orphaned children around the globe. 

My hope is that you either learn something new about adoption, connect personally with one of these families or organizations, or perhaps start your own journey to adopt! 

I've been supporting a different family/organization for the past ten months with my Rodan + Fields business and while I've shared a little bit of their stories on Facebook and Instagram each month, I really wanted to use this blog to provide a platform with which they could tell their story at a deeper level. As you well know, stories and experiences are TRULY what connect us. 

This month, I'm so excited to be highlighting, The Story Changers Congo, an organization with the mission to empower orphans and vulnerable children throughout Africa. I LOVE their three-prong approach of Restoring, Empowering, and Equipping; founded in the belief that transformation is a life-long process. Story Changers is committed to investing in the lives of vulnerable children into adulthood. I asked Andrea Stewart, one of the program directors, to provide some insight into the heart of The Story Changers. 

1. Why Congo? What are the needs? 

The needs in the DRC are so vast and so wide.  The wounds of decades of war run deep in the culture and people.  The needs range from food and money, to medical aid, education, and skill and trade training.  

2. How does The Story Changers meet those needs? 

The Story Changers Congo has partnered with an Orphanage to help triage and meet immediate needs of medical care, proper diet and nutrition, trauma relief and counseling to the children.  We also work closely with our in-country director to promote family reunification and offer skill training at local centers specializing in sewing, English, French, and Computer skills.  

Our goal is to help reach the vulnerable families that are at-risk of having to abandon their children for poverty reasons alone. We plan to launch a community center to offer nutritional food support, tutoring, and daily spiritual discipleship to vulnerable and at-risk children in the commune. Our mission is to empower and equip the next generation of Congolese citizens to help break the cycles of extreme poverty. 

3. Can you share a few stories of your experience while in the DRC with Story Changers? 

When my husband Chris went over to the orphanage for the first time, he was doing medical assessments on the children and came across a young boy named Poma. He was so weak and sick as well as having a huge infected abscess on his knee.  He could not even stand up to be weighed and was burning up with fever.  When asked how long Poma had been like this the director just cried and said with tears running down her face that it had been weeks and there was no money for him to be treated.  

Immediately, Chris said they needed to take him to the hospital. Another young boy in the orphanage, Moses, who was not much bigger than Poma, picked him up and began to walk all the way to the hospital. My husband and our in-country director followed and watched in awe at the Moses's love for his friend.  He refused to leave the hospital and stayed with him all day.  

Poma was released 3 days later and walked hand in hand with Moses back to the Orphanage.  Poma was treated for malaria, infected abscess, and typhoid.  He is doing well and all smiles these days.  His laugh is infectious and we get so excited to see the smiles on his face in every update photo.  We see such potential in these children. Moses is a natural leader and wants to be a doctor one day. We want to encourage him to pursue that dream. 

Another amazing thing is... After 2 months of balanced nutritious meals 3 times a day, the children have collectively gained 43lbs! We have trained the caretakers on the importance in balanced nutrition and also now provide daily plant-based nutrition and supplement of Moringa to every child. We are seeing their bodies flourish and have seen some amazing testimonies of growth and development.  

One little boy, Joshua, was brought to my attention with broken, dry, hair that was very patchy, eyes that were swollen and puffy, and feet that were suffering with such bad edema that he couldn't put shoes on.  We took him to the hospital and he was also treated for malaria, but we were told the main problem was severe malnutrition.  We started him on Moringa every day, along with the 3 meals a day and lots of fresh water, and he is doing AMAZING!!! His face is changed and he looks like a whole new boy. He is so happy and now his feet are down in size and he is even able to run and kick a soccer ball. We have been so blessed by our donors and sponsors who provide us with the nutrition these children need. 

4. How can people pray for The Story Changers Congo? 

• We need support and prayer over the birth and launch of a community center in the next 3-6 months as well as continued support and prayer over the Orphanage in which we work.  
• Prayer for the kids as they transition into our new facility that has been purchased so they no longer have to be mandated by a landlord.  Improvements can now be made and a well can be put in for a convenient safe water source. 
• Prayer for God's hand of blessing and protection over everyone in-country who is a part of The Story Changers. 
• All in all, pray that God would move in a mighty way to heal the emotional and physical wounds in the hearts and lives of the children we serve. 

5. How can people partner with The Story Changers Congo? 

• There are many ways to get involved with The Story Changers Congo.  We are looking for individuals to sponsor the children we serve.  You can go to www.thestorychangerscongo.org and click sponsor a child.  
• We also are in need of general donations, there is a link on the website for that, as well. General Donations go toward the difference in the $35.00 a month that is paid by sponsors and the actual cost of all the things provided for the kids. It costs The Story Changers $56.00 a month for each child; to offer them water, beds, mosquito nets, 3 nutritious meals a day, daily moringa supplements, medical care, clothing, shoes, spiritual discipleship, and tutoring.  
• You can also help by advocating and spreading the word. Like us on Face Book and share our mission with your family and friends.   

For the month of July, 20% of the profits from any of my new or returning Rodan + Fields customers will go to this amazing organization that is digging in for the long-term and caring for children in the DRC.  If you are interested in finding out more about R+F skin care products (for anti-aging, sun damage, acne or sensitive skin), please email me at leslieharris77(at)gmail(dot)com. 

If you have further questions about how you can partner with The Story Changers Congo, please contact Andrea at congo@thestorychangers.org.  

So. . . Now What?

A few days ago, I wrote a facebook post that ended up going a little viral.  The fact that it was shared over and over had nothing to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with the content.

Foster Parents.

Apparently, people on Facebook think they are pretty darn great.  So much so, that they shared the story I wrote about over a hundred times.

So, now what?

What do we do with the good feelings that the story evoked? Where do we go with our desire to DO something about foster care?

I've got a few ideas.

Do you have any foster families in your community, church, or neighborhood? If so, you have an answer.

This week, go show them some love.  Instead of asking them what they need, just go DO something.

• Bring them a meal or have dinner delivered to their house. 
• Mow their yard. 
• Show up with coffee and donuts. 
• Wash their cars. 
• Offer to come over and babysit (or bring your kids over to play and entertain their kids). 
• Grab some books, stop by for the afternoon and read to their kids so they can get things done around the house. 

If you don't have any connections to a foster family, contact your church, school, or your local county or private foster care agency to get some names of foster families.  Then, proceed with an action from the list above.

It's simple and easy.

Here's a little secret. . . most of the foster families I know are not good at asking for help.  But, just because they don't ask, doesn't mean they don't need it. They are doing hard things, friends. Let's step up and provide some relief. Some really need physical help around the house.  Others could just use some community to love on them, listen to them, and pray with them.

That is YOU!!!!! 

Ready for something more? Want to start the foster care licensing process?  Do it! There will never be a "perfect time." If you have been thinking about it and everyone in the family is on the same page about feeling called to do foster care, THEN DO IT.

Take the class. Learn as much as you can.  See where it can take you.

You may end up becoming a Respite Provider, doing short term or emergency placement foster care.

You may become a full-time foster parent.

You may foster to adopt.

You may decide fostering is not the wisest fit for your family.

You won't know until you take the classes.  SO DO IT.

Hundreds more children were placed into the foster care system TODAY across the United States. Some will be spending the night at a shelter or at the Department of Human Services building because there are not enough available homes for them.

I'm not writing that to for dramatic effect.  I'm writing it to encourage you to MOVE.

I'm asking you, actually, BEGGING you, to either love on and encourage the families who are currently fostering so that they have the strength to continue or start the foster care process yourself.

There is a need.  YOU can meet it.

When You're Feeling Invisible.

"Mama! See me!"

"MAA MA! See meeeee!"

"MAAAA MAAAA! See ME!!!"

If I don't acknowledge my youngest son, this phrase is uttered (ahem....yelled) with increasing intensity about every five seconds.  It's not enough for me to simply to respond to him verbally, he needs me to look at him. To make eye contact. To show him that I am focused solely on him.

In the course of a day, this happens often, (hellooooo year two of life), and most of the time what he wants to show me is pretty normal. 

His hands are dirty.

He lined up his cars on the floor.

He has a boogie in his nose. Or on his finger. Or in his mouth.

Nothing earth-shattering. But to his little heart, these moments are of utmost importance.  My son, in all of his two and a half year oldness, just wants to be known. He wants to be heard.  He wants to be seen. 

How very true it is for his mama too.

It's so very easy to feel invisible these days, isn't it?  To feel like no one sees you.  No one really hears you.  It is absolutely possible to be surrounded by tons of people all day long, engage in conversation, and still walk away feeling like no one truly understood or saw the real YOU. 

The need to be seen is innate in all of us.  It takes just a quick glance at social media to see how many people are striving to be known.  From Facebook videos of people lip-syncing to songs while driving (is this really a thing now?) to instagramming our smoothies, kale chips, and perfectly created lattes.  "Going Viral" has become an aspiration for many.

There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be known.  It's actually a good thing, because it makes us seek community and relationships.   It is the how, why, and the where of this need that we have to examine.

There are a couple questions that I ask myself to determine whether what I'm feeling is a healthy response to feeling invisible.

~Do I want to be known for what I do, what I post, or what I create more than who I am? 
 

~Am I more focused about letting many people get to know me on a surface level or a few people come to know my honest and vulnerable heart?
 

~When I feel invisible, is it because I'm comparing myself to the stories of others around me? 

These questions can quickly get to the core of my frustration, loneliness, and discontent. It is WAY too easy for me to believe that no one sees me or knows me when I'm unloading dishwasher yet again, cleaning dried yogurt off the kitchen floor, or watching the Wiggles for the 490th time this week.  I can look at Instagram and be reminded that everyone else has these crazy, amazing lives that are filled with successful businesses, starbucks coffee dates with their BFFs, and beautiful clothes.  In an instant, I'm spiraling into the belief that I am invisible and missing out.

Anyone else with me?

Here's what I propose. (And I'm preaching this to myself.)

Let's quit allowing ourselves to believe that "being known" means being the one with the most friends/best photos/biggest business.

Let's choose to believe that intimate, authentic friendships ARE more fulfilling that having thousands of "followers" or "likes."

Let's embrace "staying in our lane," celebrate our current roles, and trust the story that God has given us to live out. 

If you are feeling invisible, can I share something with you? It's a truth that I hold onto above all else.

You are KNOWN without having to do, say, or be anything. 

You are KNOWN by the One who created you, loves you, and SEES you. 

That's a truth that I need to cling to every single day.

I bought this necklace a few months ago, because I needed the reminder. 

theadoptshoppe.etsy.com

In the mundane, the ordinary, and the tedious, God sees me. He knows my story and none of it surprises him.  He is there with me.

Praying, my friends, that you would be able to rest, first and foremost, in this truth. 

Can I propose something else?

When the days come where you are tempted to believe that you don't matter and that you are very much alone, make the choice to speak love into someone else's life. A card, phone call, text, or a little happy mail to let them know you see them and are thinking about them.  Let's remind each other that we are in this together. 

Let's visibly show we already know about each other.  You are loved. You are seen. You are known.

The Story of Her Name

Tuesday morning, October 14th, I sat through my weekly ultrasound to check my fluid and check the baby's movements. I watched the technician try over and over to find some pockets of fluid to measure.  When she couldn't, I knew it wasn't good.  

A few minutes later, my doctor brought me into a room, and didn't want to check my blood pressure or dilation, she just wanted to talk.  My fluid had dropped quite a bit since the last week and she felt that it was time for us to meet our baby girl.  There was too much risk for a stillborn birth for us to wait any longer, so she wanted me to head to the hospital.  Now.  

Even though I was full-term at thirty-eight and a half weeks, the news still threw me for a loop.  Most likely, it was the urgency in the doctors voice and the words, "we don't want her to be stillborn," ringing in my ears.  

I convinced the doctor to let me go home, gather my things (aka "actually pack my hospital bag"), and be able to kiss the boys before we headed to the hospital.  In tears, I called Brian, to let him know it was go-time.  

We were on the way to the hospital an hour later.  In relatively quick fashion, our daughter entered the world eight hours later after making her mama push for four hours.  

We'd love to introduce you to Carson Elizabeth Word.  

As with all of our children, her middle name is what holds the most meaning.  Carson was a name that I have just loved and felt would fit well with our last name.  Her middle name holds a sweet reminder of God's hand on her story. 

If you have followed our story for any length of time, you know that adoption was always going to be a part of the way we formed our family.  So much so, that after our first anniversary, we decided to start growing our family through adoption and biologically at the same time.  Probably not the best plan, in hindsight, but it ended up that God intended for two little boys to join our family through international adoption and foster care first.  

Over those three years of the adoption journey, we continued to try adding to our family biologically, but it just didn't happen.  Initial tests didn't indicate any large concerns as to why pregnancy wasn't occurring and we had made the very personal decision early on in our marriage that we would not pursue in-depth fertility measures to help us get pregnant. 

Yet, there were still moments when the tears and the questions came.  As we watched our friends add one child and then another to their families, we were struggling in the wait.  Brian and I were sitting in the deep unknown of the foster process, in a holding pattern with our international adoption, and reminded month after month that we could not conceive. 

And then, in the spring of 2013, just after bringing Tyson home from the DRC, something happened that has not occurred in my life before.  It was so crazy and abnormal that I didn't share it with anyone at that point, even Brian.  

For one of the few times in my life, I heard very clearly from God.  Not in a booming, fireworks in the sky kind of way, but in a whisper.

And it was that we would have another child when I was thirty-seven.  This time it would be through pregnancy.

Like I said, weird beyond weird.  

As I've shared before, I'm a natural cynic and a skeptic, but this was so clear and spoken so intimately to me that I didn't question it.  I just held it close and clung to it tightly.  

In the summer of 2013, a few months after all this happened, Brian and I sat on our couch and he asked when and if we should start the adoption process again.  (Clearly, we were sleep deprived to be discussing this topic, with two under two boys at that point.) At that moment, through my tears, I shared with him the promise that the Lord had given to me.  He listened and thankfully didn't question it, but I don't necessarily know that he quite believed it either. 

Fast forward to this past February, when I walked out into our living room, wide-eyed and holding a positive pregnancy test.  

We had just moved to a new state, into our new house that weekend, and were in the midst of one of the craziest times in our lives.  And we were pregnant. 

On October 14th, 2014, Carson Elizabeth Word was born.  Her mama turned thirty-seven this past June. 

Elizabeth means "God's promise," and we felt there was no better fitting middle name for our precious gift. 

I'm continually in awe of the way God has woven the story of our family.  Most days are hard and loud and chaotic, but they are so obviously orchestrated by the One who knows what we need.  

Humbled and grateful for these three gifts.

A Few of My Favorite Things: Baby and Toddler Edition

I'm at 34 weeks today with Little Miss.  (Keeping cooking in there, Baby Girl, please don't feel rushed.)

Birth plan is completed, Brian knows what to do when I'm losing my mind during labor, and Little Miss finally has a name, (but it's a secret til she arrives.)

And her nursery is. . . currently in use by big brother. Until Tyson and Jayden can sleep in the same room again without having Wrestlemania every night, we've got Tyson sleeping in the nursery.

So her poor room currently looks a little disheveled. . .

Since I purchased new curtains right before we found out we were pregnant, I refuse to buy new ones. But they aren't light-blocking, so obviously, the next option is to drape older light-blocking curtains over them.  Super cute.

That's not even her crib. But that is a new mattress for her, and one day it will be out of the box, when we actually assemble the crib that is sitting in our garage.

One painting has been hanging since we moved in. So there's that.   The rest of the wall decor has been sitting on top of the dresser.  For a while.  One day, it will hang itself.  (And the lighting in these pictures is atrocious, I know. Third trimester mama doesn't care. :)

If you've never seen the boys' room, I have to share- it was already full of football awesomeness when we moved in.  Just hung Daddy's football jersey on the wall and it was done! 

Since I've started thinking about all things baby again, I wanted to share a few of my favorite things for babies and some items I'm using with the boys currently.  

1. Fisher Price Rock n' Play

This is where Jayden slept for the first few months of his life and he loved it.  He was snug as a bug and it was easily mobile and could travel anywhere. (Disclaimer: At one point there was a recall on the item, so do your research and see if it's for you.)  We are planning on using the Rock n' Play for Little Miss for the first few weeks, IF I can figure out where it is currently is hiding in our house. 

2. 12 Hours of Sleep by 12 Weeks of Age by Suzy Giordano  

The only book I completely read and then followed for sleep training my boys.  It's a short book and it was easy to understand and implement.  If you are a mom who likes routines and schedules, it's for you. We have had Jayden in our home since he was three weeks old and Tyson came home at 5 months.  I used this method on both the boys and they are great sleepers.  I believe a solid routine of sleep is one of the most important things for kids, as it is imperative in brain development and overall health.  The boys go to bed around 7pm each night and get up around 8am to 8:30am.  They nap for around two hours each afternoon.  It keeps Mama SANE.  Amen and Hallelujah.  

**I'm writing this with full knowledge that the feisty little girl I am carrying is made up of her mom and dad's iron will DNA and will most likely rebel against this said method.  I'll keep you updated. :) 

3.  Motorola MBP33 Baby Monitor and Camera

I realize that not everyone needs to watch their baby or toddler during naps or at night. But I have thoroughly appreciated having the ability to see when one of my two year-olds has lifted off the air conditioning grate once again and is about to put body parts or other inanimate objects down the hole. It also gives you the option of adding another camera, so you can watch two different rooms. It's expensive, but in our house, TOTALLY worth it.  

4.  OK to Wake Clock

For toddlers who have a hard time staying in bed once they open their eyes, this is a great option.  I set the clock each night and before nap time and when the clock turns a bright green light, Jayden is allowed to get up out of bed.  It is a simple concept and he doesn't have to understand time in order to follow directions. 

5.  Shea Moisture Mango and Carrot Extra-Nourishing Shampoo and Conditioner

Basically, the best smelling stuff. Ever. You will annoy your children by burying your nose in their hair for long periods of time. I use this to wash the boys hair, which is typically just once or twice a week.  You can find Shea Moisture products at Target. 

6.  Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie

On a daily basis, I put this curling creme in Tyson's hair, as his a softer texture and often grows a little longer than Jayden's. Again, it smells DIVINE.  If you put it in your child's hair, know that people will want to come and snuggle with them because they smell so good. 

7.  Rodan + Fields Soothe Regimen for Sensitive Skin

This is my new favorite for Jayden's eczema.  We have battled with this since he was really little and have tried SO many different over-the-counter lotions, creams, gels and also prescription steroid medication.  His little legs and elbows are always dealing with rough, itchy patches that leave discoloration and scarring.  I started him on this Regimen five days ago and it has already made a crazy difference in his skin.  It's not healed completely yet, but we are headed quickly in that direction and he isn't itching anymore.  Plus, it's really gentle, smells great, and is not a prescription medicine that can have other side effects.  

Five days into using the Soothe Regimen.  

Those are just a few of my favorite things! Now it's time to get two of my other favorite things up from their nap.  :) 

Have any favorite items you want to share? Especially when it comes to all things little girl? Leave a comment, I'm all ears! 

It Started With An Email

It's September! That means college football, boots, and pumpkin spiced everything. 

It's also the first month that I get to advocate and support a family currently in the adoption process.  Exciting! 

Let me introduce you to the Sykes Family. . .

Here's what makes them awesome.  Seriously awesome. 

In November of 2012, we were finalizing the last parts of Tyson's adoption.  It was just a matter of weeks before we'd be getting a call to travel to the DRC to bring our son home.  After two years of starts and stops, praying and hoping, it was almost time.  Even with two years of saving and fundraising, we were still going to be a few thousand dollars short of the last-minute plane flights and lodging costs while in country. 

Enter Jessica and Greg Sykes. 

I received an email from Jessica, a fellow adoptive mom and reader of the blog that November.  We had never met or communicated before, but she and her husband felt led to offer to do a fundraiser to help us with travel costs. 

In that following month, the Sykes hand-made hundreds of beautiful Christmas ornaments for our friends and family who ordered and shipped them all over the country.  Over $2,000 was raised through that fundraiser. Please, please, please read more about the story here.  It was one of the most humbling and amazing gifts we had been given while in the emotionally- tolling adoption process. 

A month later, I was able to hug their necks in person at the Atlanta airport as we re-entered the country with our new son. After twenty-five hours of plane flights, I'm sure our first conversation was filled with me mumbling incoherent sentences of appreciation for them. 

At the end of this month, Jessica and Greg will be traveling to another state to be at the birth of their second baby.  They are hopeful and nervous, and just like we were two years ago, getting ready to make last-minute travel plans as soon as they get the phone call.  The Sykes are currently raising the final funds to travel and stay in the state with their new baby for a few weeks while paperwork is completed. 

I am super honored and excited to highlight Jessica and Greg as the adoptive family that we will be donating toward this month!  They were the first family who came to my mind when I launched this business and the timing of their second adoption has worked perfectly. 

So, here's the deal. . .A percentage of the profits from all Rodan + Fields purchases (ordered through my website) in the month of September will go toward their adoption expenses.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about, head here first.  

If you are looking for a new skin care routine or tired of dealing with consistent acne, sun damage, facial redness (eczema and rosacea) or fine lines and wrinkles, this is a GREAT month to try something new.  

It has been fun to see friends using the products and raving about the difference in their skin in just a few months. I'd love to answer any questions about the regimens, price point, or ingredients you may have.  Contact me at leslieharris77 (at) gmail (dot) com. 

This is not about to become a blog about a business, I can promise you this. But each month, I will be sharing about an opportunity to partner with a family through your purchase. 

Jessica and Greg came around our family at one of the most stressful times in the journey and blessed us immensely.  I am humbled to be able to play a small role as they welcome another sweet baby to their family.  

Would love to have you join me in blessing this amazing family!