This Week By the Numbers

7 - Nights I was up popping a pacifier back in someone's mouth

6 - Days the washing machine and dishwasher were in use

5  - Trips to see a doctor.  

4 - Rounds of antibiotics for three different members of the family. 

3  - Boxes of diapers sent to our house as gifts. 

2 - Nights where I had to cook, because every other evening a meal was made for us by friends. (AHH-mazing.)

1 - Very much-needed date night with my husband. 

0 - Pictures in which everyone was smiling during our family photo shoot today.  

Despite facing some major odds, (ahem. . . a 6 and a 15 month old), I think Suzanne Williams did an AMAZING job of getting all of us looking at the camera at the same time.  Sure wish we could share ALL our little ones faces with you.  

How We're Doing

We've had lots of friends and family inquiring how our family is adjusting.  Thank you to all of you who are checking in.  Here's my recap. 

My parents left to head back to New Jersey last wednesday after helping the first two weeks we were home.  

I'm pretty certain that it was about two seconds after they pulled out of the driveway that J-Man got sick. 

His nose started running and the coughing ensued.  

Then he started puking on Friday morning.  

Tyson and I had taken an unexpected short trip to Atlanta for two days to hug on the neck of one of my best friends. 

So that left Daddy in charge of operation pukeage.  I was available by phone for medical consultation.  

In which case, I determined he had the flu.  

In which case, I was wrong. 

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, I am not. 

Monday morning, J-man and I headed to the doctor and poor baby had strep throat.  

I've played "keep away from your brother," for the past three days.  

I also have been on "Do not stick your brother's pacifier in your mouth" patrol.  Good times. 

I think we are back to health around here, as evidenced by J-man smiling and giggling and his lack of puking.  Whew. 

In terms of us bonding and adjusting with Tyson, he's a rock star.  Sweet pea loves snuggling and grinning at his mom and dad.  He especially thinks his brother, J-man is HIL-arious and gives him a big ol' gummy grin on a regular basis.  

J-man, for being 15 months old and just experiencing major life adjustment, has done amazing.  He hugs and kisses Tyson often (when not quarantined), and he loves trying to make his brother laugh. 

TD wears his headphones a lot and has "homework" in his room way more than usual.  

Honestly, he's been a huge help too, corralling J-man when I'm trying to do something with Tyson and can't keep my eye on him.  

So, since we are emerging out of pukeville and today is a new day- I can say that we are doing well.  

Taking it one day at a time.  Figuring out bedtimes, schedules, and life with two under 15 months old. 

As both of my little ones were actually laying down on the same blanket for a few short seconds today, heads together looking at each other, I couldn't help but smile at what we've been given.  

I'm stinking exhausted at the end of every day, but that's to be expected.  

Brian and I are just thankful for 7 o'clock bedtimes.  Especially since I'm asleep by around 7:15 these days. . . 

We Look a Little Different

We are your average, American family; dad, mom, three boys, and two dogs that are constantly causing trouble.  

Except we look a weeeeeeeeee bit different. 

We are actually two white folks, including one with a bunch of freckles who doesn't tan well, plus three black boys, ranging in age from five months to 18 years old. 

Ok, we're an anomaly and we know it.  Some people think we are just plain weird. I'm okay with that. 

To be honest, Brian and I really don't care what people think of us.  The choices to form our family have quite obviously not been due to public opinion. 

We didn't plan on adding three children in one year.  We didn't plan on adding children of all one specific race to our family. 

We agreed, from the start of our marriage, that our family would include children who needed homes, stability, and love.  

This year, three children entered our lives that needed just that.  They just all happen to be boys and they just happen to be black. 

One through legal guardianship.  One through foster care.  One through adoption. 

At this point, just one has our last name. 

But don't be mistaken, each one has our heart. 

A year ago today, I wrote a post about our city and our family.  At that point, we had just welcomed our J-man into our home a few months before. 

Thinking about Martin Luther King, Jr., his impact, his life, and his role in the city that we live rang especially deep in my heart last year. 

Today, I can say that MLK's words and his mission for equality bears even more weight and significance in my life. 

Now, as parents of a black teenager, we have witnessed that misconception and prejudices about race are still prevalent and thriving.  The road for our boys will not be easy.  

We feel a very strong burden to give them the foundation in which to navigate a world where color is often still the first thing a person sees when making a judgement on character ability.  

We believe that their culture and their heritage is paramount to who they are and needs to be cultivated. 

We pray that the first and foundational thing in which they identify themselves is their faith in Christ. 

We envision a future for them where their relationships and community is not defined solely by their race, but instead by common values and beliefs.

We hope that one day, our son will not be feared because he is walking down the street in a grey hoodie and jeans. 

We pray daily that our boys will become Godly men of integrity and honor, who do not believe anything is owed to them, but instead stand and fight for justice of those around them who cannot.  

‎Brian and I know that the choices we have made to form our family won't be accepted by everyone. 

We know that we don't have all the answers on how to raise our boys. 

We are quite aware that we will make many mistakes along the way.  

But we are very sure that the three boys placed in our home this past year are here because they belong in OUR FAMILY. Not just anywhere, but here, with us and our two crazy dogs.  

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase."

- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

We have faith that though we don't know what the road with our boys looks like ahead, we are a family formed with a purpose.  And we are going to move forward and figure this out this crazy life together.   



   

Meeting Her.

Last month, before leaving for the DRC,  I wrote about what was weighing heavy on my heart - the day I would take my son from the arms of his foster mother. 

Every time I talked about it with someone, I was in tears.  Every time I thought about it, I was tears. 

As a foster mom of a son that I have loved since the minute he was placed in my hands at two weeks old, my heart was filled with gratitude for this woman whom I would soon meet.  

The days leading up to our meeting were filled with nervous trepidation, as I knew that I would never be able to voice to her just how much I understood her role in our son's life. 

Because of our baby J, I know what it means to love a little one who is not promised to you.  

I know what it is to be up at all hours of the night, rocking, cradling, and snuggling a child that I did not birth and whose sweet little toes I may never get to see fill the shoes of a grown man.

I know what it means to pour everything you have into a child that may never thank you, and in fact, never remember you. 

There was so much I wanted to say to her, my Tyson's Mama Isabelle. 

As I walked out to meet her and my baby boy, the tears were flowing.  

She greeted me with a huge smile and I hugged her as tight as I could. 

She spoke no English and I spoke no French. 

Through our lawyer, who spoke minimal English, I shared with her everything I could muster in the shortest and most succinct amount of words. 

"You have loved him so very well.  Thank you."

It wasn't enough.  But nothing I said would have been.  Nothing could have conveyed how full my heart was at that moment. 

As I held our smiling, cuddly son, with chunky thighs and full cheeks, it was quite evident that Tyson had been well-fed, held tightly, and cuddled often. 

And believe me, I fully realize that this is not always the case in international adoption. 

Because of Mama Isabelle, our Tyson bonded quickly to us.  He craves snuggles, makes great eye contact, and smiles and smiles and smiles and smiles. 

It's been three weeks since I met my son.  Three weeks since I took him out of the arms of his Mama Isabelle. 

When I talk about it or think about it, it still brings me to tears. 

But it isn't out of sadness.  

It's out of a heart that overflows with emotion for the gift of a son who now carries my last name.  

It's from a heart filled with thankfulness for the selfless love of a foster mom caring for our baby 4,000 miles away.

It's because of a heart bursting with love for my own foster son who is a miracle and gift that I one day may have to return. 

I can't guarantee the tears will stop anytime soon, because they are filled with gratitude and awe at this life we've been given. 

Thank you, Mama Isabelle. You were an answer to five months of prayer for our son and a tender reminder to me of my call as a foster mom.

The Day the WAIT was over. (In Video)

After 28 hours of travel; from Montgomery to Atlanta to Newark to Brussels to Angola to Kinshasa... we arrived in the Congo.

Our plane landed at 9:30 pm and we entered a humid, crowded, noisy airport that was the first taste of our son's homeland. 

Tresor, our lawyer, met us at the baggage claim and helped us navigate through the chaos of the terminal and into his car. 

The streets were fairly empty, but the sidewalks and storefronts still were bustling with life at 10 o'clock at night.  The air was smoky and thick, as the trash in the city burned in piles wherever it was laying. 

We pulled up to our "hotel," a former convent, at around 11pm, entered our room, and immediately crashed for the night. 

The next morning, we would be meeting our son. 

We were told that Tyson would be brought to us at 11am.  
However, we were in Congo, so we had an idea that we were now on "Africa Time," and that meant time frames would be a little more flexible...

We were right.  

After waiting two hours, one of the hotel receptionists, who only spoke french, found us and mimicked holding a baby.  She pointed at us, said "Baby," and indicated we follow her. 

He was here. 

Another adoptive mom, Sara Gentry, waited around those two extra hours with us so that she could video our first minutes meeting Tyson.

And here it is. . .

Introducing...

We are HOME!  

Way more to come, but let me first officially introduce you to Tyson Henry Word. 

He is amazing and beautiful and best of all. . .our SON! 

A little heads up...

In hopefully a couple of weeks, we will be re-entering the United States with our son.  We CANNOT wait to introduce him in person, through skype, or even just in pictures to the many, many friends and family who have cheered us on, financially given, or prayed our son home. 

Since Tyson has spent the first five months of his life in the hands of a very loving foster mom, we realize that he will be grieving the loss of his first family.  We will have some time to bond with him while in the DRC, but we will be very intentional once home to continue that bonding period.  

So what does that mean? 

Well, we aren't exactly sure.  But what we DO know is that it is extremely important that Tyson knows WHO are his mom and dad.  We want him to learn to rely solely on us for his needs, so Brian and I will be the only ones feeding, bathing, changing, and holding him.  So when you hold out your hands to hold him, don't be surprised when I squeeze him tighter and instead give you a good ol' high five. 

I know that seems a little weird, but this little one is going to have a LOT of change happen in his life in a short amount of time, including caregivers, country, and pretty much everything else, so our number one concern will be his adjustment and attachment to our family. 

I'm going to ask you to head over here to read this post, because it gives some great insight to life before and after adoptive families bring their children home.  Though each experience is different, Jen Hatmaker, the author, paints a pretty accurate description how to help, what to say, and how to pray.  

Because Tyson is still an infant, our adjustment may be quicker than those who have brought home older children.  Or it may not.  We aren't sure and we're going to take it day by day until we know he's confident that he's in his forever home. 

For the many that have asked if we need anything now....we really don't, unless you want to come give our dogs a bath because they stinking smell like feces.  (Don't worry, Mom Word, they'll be smelling pretty by the time you get here.) 

To our amazing community of friends and family, we are so grateful for you.  You have encouraged, given, and prayed for this day for the last two years.  We love you and would not be at this point without you.  

I Have Kept All of These Things In My Heart. . .

"They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child.  All who heard the shepherd's story were astonished, but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often."  Luke 2:17-19

For five months, our son has been in the care of a stranger, in a country thousands of miles away.  Very rarely, once a month at most, have we caught a glimpse of him and even less have we been told about his growth or development.  

So, you can imagine, that we cling to every update we are given, in hopes of learning more about our Tyson.  

When you cannot hold your child in your arms and care for them personally, all you can do is pray.  

We have prayed that since he has entered the foster home, that his foster mama would hold him regularly. 

We have prayed he would be loved.  

We have prayed that his foster family would interact and play with him.

We have prayed he would be healthy.

Every picture and every word that has been spoken of our Tyson, I have held close to my heart.  And though our son is far from the Savior that Mary birthed so many years ago, I resonate with the short passage where Mary's motherhood is so eloquently described.  "She kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often." 

What few things I know of my son, I ponder them often, and because I have so little information about him, it makes me appreciate those small glimpses of him so much more. 

Today, a fellow adoptive parent who is currently in the DRC, kindly offered to visit the foster home where Tyson lives. 

She met his foster mother and the other children who live in the house. 

She said it is VERY evident how much his foster momma loves him and cares for him.  He is healthy and so very happy. 

In these months when I could not be there to hold my son, another strong, courageous woman has done that for me.  

She has loved my son since he was a few days hold.  Given him the gift of attachment.  He has been held.  Rocked.  Feed regularly.  Loved. 

I have kept all these things in my heart and think of them often. 

Next week, I will meet my son and hold him for the first time.  I will be taking him from the woman who lovingly cared for him for the last five months.  I do not take that lightly.  

As a foster mom, I understand what is about to take place next week and it breaks my heart. 

I am OVERJOYED to meet my son.  I am OVERWHELMED at the thought of how well he has been loved by another family until we could get there.  And I am OVERCOME with sadness that I am breaking a bond between him and the woman who loved him first. 

Thankful that one day I will be able to share with Tyson just how very loved he was by all three of his mommas; the one who made the ultimate sacrifice so he would have a chance at life, his loving foster momma, and me. 

I have kept all these things in my heart and think of them often.  

Soon

Let the packing begin. . .

Cause we're leaving on a jet plane real, real soon. . .

Drumroll please....

This week ended our hand-made ornament fundraiser.  Before I give you the total raised, let me quick tell you how it happened in the first place.

January 2010, I met my new friend Joy for lunch.  She's an momma to bunch of biological, adoptive, and foster kiddos.  I had just started the process and wanted to pick her brain about life in Montgomery as a trans-racial family.

Joy had also invited Layla, a local blogger/photographer, who was interested in starting the adoption process.

At that point, I wasn't much of a blog-reader, so I didn't realize just WHO this sweet, kind, and oh-so talented Layla was.

Little clueless, I was.

Layla writes the Lettered Cottage blog....which has like, over 30,000 readers.

Yeah...people know her.

So, when she asked if she could blog about our lunch and post a few pics, I was thinking about 15 people in Montgomery would see it.

Um...wrong-o.

Lots of folks saw that blog post, which in turn sent them over to check out Waiting on a Word.  And by one simple lunch, I had people from all over that had heard our story and have stuck with us through the last two years.

Enter Jessica.  

She is a fellow adoptive mom who lives outside Atlanta.  Last year, they hand-made ornaments to fundraise for their own adoption.

It went so well, they wanted to do again this year and donate all of the proceeds to another family in the adoption process.

Jessica had been following my blog and our adoption story since she saw it on the Lettered Cottage.

Out of the many, many adoptive families all over the country, she and her husband chose us to be the family they would fundraise for this year.

Jessica sent me an email, explaining their offer, promising she wasn't a stalker, and we humbly said, "heck yes!!!"

They bought the all of the supplies, posted the information and our story on their blog, started making the ornaments on Thanksgiving and shipped the first batch out on that Saturday.

Jessica and Greg spent countless hours and resources making the ornaments and carefully wrapping them and shipping them all over the country.  Jessica even made us ornaments for our boys with their names on them.

All for our family.  Complete strangers who share the bond of adoption.

That is amazing.

One lunch.  One blog post.  Two years later.

One REALLY big blessing in our lives.

Our ornament fundraiser brought in $1680!

We had additional $355 donated in the fundraiser...

Which brings the total to $2035! 

First, a big THANK YOU to those of you who purchased the ornaments.  We hope that this year, as you look at the ornaments, you will pray for our process with Tyson as we are hoping to travel SOON to finally meet our son.  In the years to come, we hope that the ornaments will be a reminder to pray for the many children worldwide who are waiting for their forever families.

Joy, thank you for being an honest, vulnerable example of living life as a transracial family in our town.  You continually encourage and challenge me.

Layla, thank you for having a blog that everyone on the planet reads.  Thank you for including me that day in your blog post- it really should have been a post all about Joy and her amazing family, but you were gracious to add me too.  Because of that, you were a big part in helping us raise over $2,000 for our adoption.

And finally, Jessica and Greg, thank you, thank you, thank you for choosing us.  We are so grateful for the many, many HOURS you spent making sure that this fundraiser was successful.  One day soon we will meet in person and I will get to hug your necks.  Thank you for being obedient to what God was calling you to do and for being willing to do this for a family you've never met.

We are continually amazed at the way God has provided for us in this journey.