Timing

It's one of those concepts that rarely has gone according my plans. 


I had a nice, neat timeline planned out for my life upon graduating from high school. 

• College in four years. 
• Teach elementary school for the rest of my life. 
• Get married at around 26 or 27.   Preferably to a professional athlete.  Definitely NOT to anyone in ministry.
• Kids by late 20's.  And just two of them. 

Instead, what I got was...

• College in 3 1/2 years. (just call me an overachiever.  Or a nerd.  whatever.)
• Taught fifth grade for 5 years and got burned out. 
• In and and out of long term relationships.
• Went into full time supported ministry as a single girl.
• Got married at 32  
• Still no kids. 
• A big, hairy dog that eats most inanimate objects my house. 

Not my timing.  Not my plan.  


As I look back, I can honestly say that I am so grateful for the way it has played out.  My life has looked nothing like I planned, yet it's been everything that I needed. 


But for a lot of my twenties, there were many questions, heartache, and doubt. 


The story wasn't playing out the way I had written it. 

I had questioned whether God had forgotten about me.  Why it seemed like everyone else kept having new chapters written in their lives and mine stayed on the same page. 

And as I have had the chance to spend some quality time with some my best girlfriends from all over the country this past month, it seems like this concept of timing is a rough one for a lot of us women. 


Many of the women in my life, in varying age ranges and stages, are sitting in lives where their dreams have been unmet, or shattered, or abandoned. 


Single. 


Married and hurting.


Childless.


Purposeless. 


Exhausted.


Just, plain lonely. 




A fellow adopting mom shared this statement on one of the yahoo groups I'm a part of and I loved it: 

"Where we see time.  God's sees timing." 

God's timing never matches our own.  His perspective is so much wider, deeper, and full of more wisdom then we can ever grasp. 


When I look at timing in my own small brain and hands, I always, always, always jump to what I don't have, what I haven't achieved, and how far "behind" I am than everyone else around me. 


Even as some dreams have been answered, I can still focus instead on the dreams deferred. 


However, when I choose to trust that each word, each page, and each chapter of the course of my life has happened in God's perfect and loving timing, then I am at peace.  Only then. 

"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." 

 John 13:7. 

What a sweet and loving promise to cling to when our current circumstances are not what we dreamed them to be. 


A post for my girls that are hurting and lonely, and who need a gentle, loving reminder that they have not been forgotten by the One who holds time in His hands. 

It's Not About You.

That's what a foster mom kindly, but directly, said to me as I gave her the reasons why my husband and I could never foster.

"I could never give them back. We'd get too attached."  I compassionately proclaimed to her.

And all she said was, "It's not about you."

And there you have it.

I didn't take offense to her comment. Because she was right.

There are hundreds of innocent children in our city alone that do not get to make the decisions where they will live.  They have been pulled from their families for safety reasons, but they don't get an opinion as to where to go next.  They have no voice.

But I do.  And I use it a lot.

Unfortunately, it's too often for my own self-promotion.

What if instead of giving excuses as to why foster care isn't for our family, I started advocating for the child who doesn't have a family?

The bible is clear in it's mandate: To be a voice for the orphan.

Foster children are orphans. Whether for a few days, months, or years, they are without their biological family.


There are some great ways to care us to for them. 


1.  Through Foster Care, where children are placed with your family for the short or long term until their family is stable enough to get them back or until they are available to be adopted. 


2. Through Respite Care, where you receive the foster care training and then take children into your home for short periods of time.  (i.e. overnight, the weekend, or a week)  Alabama DHR confirmed they are in great need of Respite Care families as well as foster families.


3. Adopt from the foster care system.  There are over 300 children currently available for adoption in foster care in the state of Alabama. 


Children placed in foster care may not have a voice.  But we do.  

Even greater, we have the ability to give them the structure and love that they desperately need.

Foster care is not a walk in the park.  It can be messy and hard.

But it is also part of the adventure that God calls us to as believers- to care for the orphan.

For our family, long-term foster care while waiting for a referral is not the best mix.  However, we are excited about the potential of becoming respite care foster parents!

We'd love for you to join us tomorrow night: 

 July 20th at Frazer UMC in Room 7202 at 6pm to learn more about Foster Care from our panel of Foster Parents.  

Ask questions and hear about their experiences as foster families. 

Hope to see you there. 

Small Towns and Surprises

I grew up in a small town.

And I don't mean farmland and cattle.

I'm a Jersey girl, people.

I grew up in a town that is two-square miles.

So small that we didn't have school buses.

But we did manage to fit four elementary schools, one middle school, one high school, three fire stations, a bazillion churches and a downtown where I learned to parallel park in those two-square miles.

Then add 10,000 people.

It's a close-knit community.

One of the things I love about it, especially now that I've been away from it for so long, are the traditions.  The fourth of July is one of the town's big events.

The parade is quintessential small-town.

Residents put their chairs out two or three days in advance to reserve their spot to watch the parade.

These chairs were put out the night before.  Small town awesomeness. 

My sweet pea niece and her pop-pop

Never bother a boy and his breakfast sandwich.

Sisters.  And no, we didn't plan the shirts. 

A parade full of marching bands in full uniform, beauty queens on mustang convertibles, sparkling clean fire trucks.

Everyone stands when the flag or the military goes by.

Seeing your former kindergarten teachers, the parents of your high school friends, and kids you used to babysit who are now legally adults.

Yup, I'm old.


My very southern husband got the full Fourth of July package this past weekend, including a trip to the Jersey Shore.

And I am glad to report that NO ONE resembled Snooki.

 He and the rest of the southern United States are convinced that 99% of the population of NJ is made up of versions of Jersey Shore cast members.

Take a look at the picture.  I rest my case: normal humans reside in NJ.  For the most part.

I've been blessed with a good man.  A few months ago, when we were planning this NJ trip, and this girl was pretty lonely and missing her friends and family in many different states, he started concocting a plan.

One of the days in NJ, he surprised me with a trip to NYC to see the Lion King.  Highly recommended!

Then... we went to dinner.  And I walked in the restaurant to find my three best friends from college waiting for me.  After college, the four of us got together twice a year to reconnect.  Then marriages and kids happened and it got hard to plan getaways.  Our last time together was over three years ago.

My husband had been emailing and texting with them over the past three months to bring them in to the city for a reunion.

That's a good man.

So grateful for family, small towns, and best friends!

Humbled

As you may know, (due to my shameless promoting of it), we had an adoption fundraiser at Chick-fil-a last week.

They graciously gave us three hours, from 5:30-8:30pm, to earn 20% of their profits toward our adoption.

Our Montgomery friends and family came out in droves to support us.

Humbling.  

For three hours, we got to catch up with friends, talk about adoption, and take one step closer to bring our kids home.

So many came.

Friends from church.

Co-workers.

Fellow adoptive families in Montgomery.

Friends from other churches.

People we had never met, but heard about it and wanted to support our event.

Humbling. 

It was so busy that the restaurant was calling more managers and workers to come in and help because they were swamped.  

At the end of the night the manager told us it was the busiest fundraiser event they had ever had.


Humbling. 


In three hours we raised $730.  We were told that it was the most ever raised for a fundraiser event.

Clearly, we have some pretty amazing friends and support in this town.

Humbling.

And if you noticed above, I alluded that we'd be bringing our "kids" home.  Plural.

After talking with our agency this weekend, we learned that we are pretty far down on the list for an infant but a lot closer for a sibling group of two.

Gulp.

The bad news is that it looks like the wait will still be longer than we thought.  Potentially six more months for a referral.

It very well could be that God knows we need a little more time to wrap our heads around the potential of TWO more Words!

A Matching Grant!!!

As soon as our homestudy was approved, we started applying for matching grants in order to fundraise for our adoption.


Though we have already paid a good chunk of the fees, there are more still to come, especially upon accepting the referral of our child.


This past week we found out we were approved for a $3,500 matching grant from the Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc.!!!


So what does that mean?  


Hand in Hand will match the donations we raise up to $3,500 total.  And it's tax-deductible!    


If you donate $50 to our fund, consider it $100 toward our adoption.  AHHHHHmazing. 


If you would like to donate to our fund I would not stop you.
In fact, I'd hug you.
If you lived near me.
Or I'd bake you chocolate chip cookies.  Homemade.


If you'd like to find out more about donating to our Hand in Hand fund, head over here.


If you are unable to donate, but you really love chicken, join us for our Chick-fil-a fundraiser this Tuesday night! 

Waitlisted.

It's a word I don't usually like to be associated with...

Normally, it means you haven't met the standard or expectation in order to be accepted or approved. 

But when it comes to adoption, the Waitlist means you've dotted your "i's," crossed your "t's," been background checked 14 times, and provided twelve certified birth certificates. 

It means you're in, you're on your way, and you're one step closer to your child. 

We have received our i600a approval to adopt and submitted our dossier to our agency.  

We are now officially on the Waitlist for          Baby Word (or Words) !!!! 

The fundraising now begins....  

Check out the previous blog post to find out how to participate in bringing home Baby Word! 

What Do Chicken and Sweet Tea Have to Do with Our Adoption?

If you live in the Montgomery area, the simple act of eating at Chick-fil-a on June 28th will help bring an orphan into a forever family....

OURS! 

We are having our first adoption fundraiser at the Chick-Fil-A at Eastchase, from 5:30-8:30pm on June 28th.  

If you come and eat between 5:30 and 8:30pm AND bring this flyer OR mention that you are there for the "Spirt Night" or "Word Family Adoption Night," Chick-fil-a will donate a portion of your proceeds to our adoption fund.  

We would LOVE to see you there! 

Please tell your friends, neighbors, co-workers....this is an easy way to spend a night out with your family while helping us grow our family through adoption! 

Deep Thoughts about Weeds

When I start feeling really bad about the state of my yard I just have to go to our neighbor's yard and take a peek. 

Yup.  Not photoshopped.  Legit four foot weeds have overtaken their yard.  


It got me thinking.  


I've worked exceptionally hard to keep our landscaping and my newly planted wildflowers alive, (I'm referring to them now as "wildflowers," humor me please.)  I water daily, (well... mostly), and I watch the weather forecast diligently, hoping something will fall from the sky.   It hasn't. 


I pull out weeds that keep finding some way to survive despite the large amount of round-up I have sprayed on them. 


I'm barely keeping our plants and shrubs alive, yet they are being painstakingly cared for and maintained.  


Our neighbor's backyard, on the other hand, has been ignored.  No watering or pruning.  Yet, the weeds have flourished and thrived.  They are ugly, prickly, and full of bugs, rodents, and other animals I'd rather not think about. 


How true is that in our lives? 


How quickly things can grow in our lives that are unhealthy and provide no beauty or worth. 


It doesn't take much for gossip to seep into our conversations and our friendships and choke out any authentic and true relationships we may have.  We let it become a part of our normal interactions and before we know it,  gossip becomes a part of who we are.  We can't communicate without it.  It is pervasive and sly and brings no value or beauty to our female relationships.  


I believe we were made and designed as women to thrive in relationships.  Authentic, honest friendships bring us life and keep us going. They make us better wives, better mothers, better women.    


Gossip is a weed that chokes out the beautiful landscape God intended friendship to be. 


Bitterness and envy are other weeds that can choke out our joy in our lives.  The comparison game quickly steals our contentment.  It doesn't take much on our part, just a couple "what-ifs" in our mind and we are far down the path of wishing we were skinnier, richer, smarter, more creative....


Finding the beauty and contentment in our lives, the way God designed us to be, takes work.   


We have to choose to be content with our circumstances and where God has us.  We have to choose to work at friendships, to share the honest, raw parts of ourselves that leave us vulnerable and open.  


It takes effort and it's hard. 


But when we do the work, when we let others know who we really are and we're content with who God created us to be, beauty abounds. 


It's a lot easier for us to live with the weeds.  Honestly, many of the women around us are choking in them.  


Let's get to pruning and watering, ladies.  Our lives and our friendships were intended for so much more.  

Planting weeds

No updates on our adoption....so today's blog topic is "Things I really stink at and therefore do not enjoy." 





I have very few talents.

Gardening is not one of them.

Now that I'm a homeowner, and on a budget, I've tried to take the yard into my own hands.

Which is unfortunate for our yard.

It's not like it was looking awesome to begin with, as the former owner of our home must have been sick or hospitalized often.

How do I know, you ask? Well, based on what our yard looked like when Brian moved in, I think the former owner had been given many plants and floral arrangements and then subsequently and randomly planted them around the yard.  It really was atrocious. And yes, it took us four years to do something about it.

We finally decided to overhaul the yard and we did most of the work ourselves, removing all of the shrubs and flowers and putting in brand-new landscaping.

We were pretty proud of ourselves.  By this spring only about 10 of the 35 plants had died.

While that may not seem like a good success rate for some of you, the Word's consider that survival percentage a major victory.

We set our expectations low.

Once we put in the new landscaping I really wanted the yard to just fend for itself.  Not so much.  Who knew so much watering would be involved?

I now get excited about the potential of rain in the forecast so I don't have to water our plants.

Being lazy is one of my talents.

BUT, I got real crazy this week and decided to do something with the two planters that had been sitting, half-full of dead weeds, in our backyard for over four years.  Don't judge me.

I repainted them and then headed to one of those big box stores to ask somebody what the heck I'm supposed to put in them.

The sweet lady at the store patiently explained all things green to me. I thought she was brilliant and, of course, bought everything she suggested.  She even showed me how to arrange them in the planter in order to create a beautiful arrangement.

I did just what she told me.

They didn't turn out the way I thought they would.

In fact, it looks like I just planted some weeds and stuck them on our front step.

Awesome.

I should probably just stick to watering the plants.

The world needs to know.

I read this today and I need to share it with you. 


It's not a feel-good story.  At all. 


However, this is reality for most of central Africa, and the world needs to know about it. 


The Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) has been wreaking havoc and devastation in Uganda, DRC, Central African Republic and Sudan for decades.  The focus of the LRA is ultimate annihilation through astoundingly evil acts. 


What they are doing is happening NOW.  They've been in the DRC recently and they have attacked in Southern Sudan as recently as the past week.  


Please read this post.  Know that it won't be an easy read. 


But please read it.  And share it.  


The world needs to know.