Monday, July 25, 2011


It's one of those concepts that rarely has gone according my plans. 

I had a nice, neat timeline planned out for my life upon graduating from high school. 

  • College in four years. 
  • Teach elementary school for the rest of my life. 
  • Get married at around 26 or 27.   Preferably to a professional athlete.  Definitely NOT to anyone in ministry.
  • Kids by late 20's.  And just two of them. 

Instead, what I got was...

  • College in 3 1/2 years. (just call me an overachiever.  Or a nerd.  whatever.)
  • Taught fifth grade for 5 years and got burned out. 
  • In and and out of long term relationships.
  • Went into full time supported ministry as a single girl.
  • Got married at 32  
  • Still no kids. 
  • A big, hairy dog that eats most inanimate objects my house. 

Not my timing.  Not my plan.  

As I look back, I can honestly say that I am so grateful for the way it has played out.  My life has looked nothing like I planned, yet it's been everything that I needed. 

But for a lot of my twenties, there were many questions, heartache, and doubt. 

The story wasn't playing out the way I had written it. 

I had questioned whether God had forgotten about me.  Why it seemed like everyone else kept having new chapters written in their lives and mine stayed on the same page. 

And as I have had the chance to spend some quality time with some my best girlfriends from all over the country this past month, it seems like this concept of timing is a rough one for a lot of us women. 

Many of the women in my life, in varying age ranges and stages, are sitting in lives where their dreams have been unmet, or shattered, or abandoned. 


Married and hurting.




Just, plain lonely. 

A fellow adopting mom shared this statement on one of the yahoo groups I'm a part of and I loved it: 

"Where we see time.  God's sees timing." 

God's timing never matches our own.  His perspective is so much wider, deeper, and full of more wisdom then we can ever grasp. 

When I look at timing in my own small brain and hands, I always, always, always jump to what I don't have, what I haven't achieved, and how far "behind" I am than everyone else around me. 

Even as some dreams have been answered, I can still focus instead on the dreams deferred. 

However, when I choose to trust that each word, each page, and each chapter of the course of my life has happened in God's perfect and loving timing, then I am at peace.  Only then. 

"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." 
 John 13:7. 

What a sweet and loving promise to cling to when our current circumstances are not what we dreamed them to be. 

A post for my girls that are hurting and lonely, and who need a gentle, loving reminder that they have not been forgotten by the One who holds time in His hands. 


  1. Thank you for this reminder... I've also always had a 'plan' and sorta expected GOD to just fit in along the plan. To be engaged at 19, married by 21 and have the first kid at 23. But in the past 16 months I've had to learn that HIS plans for me exceeds my expectations, and are mostly not clear ahead of time. But hindsight is 20/20 - especially when it comes to me understanding how GOD works everything for the good. I have finally gotten to the point of letting go and letting GOD, because I cannot carry these burdens on my own (loosing my brother age 26, miscarrying our first child at age 24 and my mom being very ill - but recovered). I wanted to dictate when we will have children, and have realised I cannot dictate to GOD. So, I've handed over this burden to Him. And though my heart aches a little each time I hear someone is pregnant, and I'm not, I realise that this is THEIR time, not MINE, and GOD's timing is NEVER wrong. So, GOD be with those expecting their precious little children :-D Once again, thanks for your reassurance! God Bless you and your husband with your adoption-journey and may you get that referral in GOD's time :-)

  2. Thanks, Leslie. I was so encouraged by your post.

  3. Leslie...this really was an encouraging post!

  4. Leslie,
    I came across your blog after reading your "Plan A" post on We are Grafted In. It resonated with me and I couldn't agree with you more. Then, I came across this post...and felt like I was reading something out of my journal. God's timing is oh, so different than mine, but like you, looking back I wouldn't change any of it! Not the years of singleness or the change in career path (yep, I thought I was going to be a teacher and ended up in full-time ministry too), or the relationship that didn’t work out, dating my now husband long distance, getting married just before 30, and even now waiting to be a mom…I’m gonna write out this verse and stick it good!
    Anyway, just wanted to thank you for sharing your heart and in so doing encouraging mine.
    Many blessings to you as you continue your journey.

  5. Thank you, Leslie. I needed to hear this tonight.